Jerry Seinfeld citat
Här kommer några av Jerry Seinfeld bästa citat:
1. I was the best man at the wedding. If I'm the best man, why is she marrying him?
2. You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, "See if you can blow this out."
3. Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom.
4. Dogs are the leaders of the planet. If you see two life forms, one of them's making a poop, the other one's carrying it for him, who would you assume is in charge.
5. Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.
6. Seems to me the basic conflict between men and women, sexually, is that men are like firemen. To men, sex is an emergency, and no matter what we're doing we can be ready in two minutes. Women, on the other hand, are like fire. They're very exciting, but the conditions have to be exactly right for it to occur.
7. I have a friend who’s collecting unemployment insurance. This guy has never worked so hard in his life as he has to keep this thing going. He’s down there every week, waiting on the lines and getting interviewed and making up all these lies about looking for jobs. If they had any idea of the effort and energy that he is expending to avoid work, I’m sure they’d give him a raise.
8. Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV.
9. I will never understand why they cook on TV. I can't smell it. Can't eat it. Can't taste it. The end of the show they hold it up to the camera, "Well, here it is. You can't have any. Thanks for watching. Goodbye."
10. See, the thing of it is, there's a lot of ugly people out there walking around but they don't know they're ugly because nobody actually tells them.
1. I was the best man at the wedding. If I'm the best man, why is she marrying him?
2. You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, "See if you can blow this out."
3. Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom.
4. Dogs are the leaders of the planet. If you see two life forms, one of them's making a poop, the other one's carrying it for him, who would you assume is in charge.
5. Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.
6. Seems to me the basic conflict between men and women, sexually, is that men are like firemen. To men, sex is an emergency, and no matter what we're doing we can be ready in two minutes. Women, on the other hand, are like fire. They're very exciting, but the conditions have to be exactly right for it to occur.
7. I have a friend who’s collecting unemployment insurance. This guy has never worked so hard in his life as he has to keep this thing going. He’s down there every week, waiting on the lines and getting interviewed and making up all these lies about looking for jobs. If they had any idea of the effort and energy that he is expending to avoid work, I’m sure they’d give him a raise.
8. Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV.
9. I will never understand why they cook on TV. I can't smell it. Can't eat it. Can't taste it. The end of the show they hold it up to the camera, "Well, here it is. You can't have any. Thanks for watching. Goodbye."
10. See, the thing of it is, there's a lot of ugly people out there walking around but they don't know they're ugly because nobody actually tells them.
posted by X at
6:39 PM
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